Question: What do you call 60k plus words of authorial intrusion?
Answer: A book. Of all the insane writing rules that writers of how-to books have thrust upon us, by far and away the daftest is the one that states the author should not intrude on the story. The author writes the story, chooses the scenes, invents the dialogue, chooses what to describe and how. The author’s fingerprints and heavy hand are all over the story. So what the heck is Authorial Intrusion? Well, there is a style of writing favoured by pulp fiction writers where the author does not express a view directly in the narration. That is, he will not speak to the reader. While we can all agree that some forms of authorial voice can break the reader out of the story the zealots insist we remove all narrative voice. This is the crime they describe as authorial intrusion. However, even in the world of the zealots, the author will still speak to the reader through his descriptions, he can’t help it. Example: “The tenements were so close together they let little light into the alley.” This is an opinion, in that ‘little’ is a purely subjective description. It could be read as a criticism by designers of tenement blocks or an advertisement by albinos. The use of the word ‘tenement’ implies an American writer and the length and structure of the sentence indicates a reading age and a level of education the book is aimed at. You can write the same information a hundred ways and each choice says something about the author’s intent. Some of the more extreme analysts would suggest this sentence also implies someone is observing the light, but I’m not going to go that far. It also implies that someone is reading it too, so what? Scientists have shown that they can identify a specific author from a large enough chunk of text simply by the way he strings words together. This technique has been used by researchers to connect official bible gospels to banned bible gospels. We carry ourselves into everything we write. The author always intrudes. The author also sets up an intrusion at a different level to ‘voice’ when choosing a POV. First Person POV has an obvious characterisation to it, but then so do all the other POV’s. Some describe this as writing style, but there is more to it that that. Assume you are writing in omniscient. Almost every descriptive sentence you write defines the character behind the POV. Sure you can make the POV dry and boring, but even that is a clear definition. As soon as you add any narrative flair you start to pin down the character behind the voice. This need not be the ‘author’ but is essentially the ‘character of the book’. For example, my story, ‘The Spellbinder’ is set in a pseudo 1860. It’s an alternate reality that diverged at the start of the 19th century so I take liberties with timelines and attitudes. One of my MC’s is much more Georgian than Victorian as I have set the attitude of country folk over thirty years behind the ‘real’ times. Writing in omniscient, the narration has a pseudo Victorian voice. That is, it uses forms and structures that 21st century readers associate with that period. In fact, I set the narration voice at around 1910 as it’s much easier on the reader. The ‘voice’ has an opinion; it is somewhat cynical of the British Empire while it admires its accomplishments. It will tell you that a girl is pretty or a man handsome. My own voice sits far behind this one in the way I choose to tell the story and the incidents that occur. Authorial intrusion is always present. As writers we should use it to best effect and be aware of how we are using it. Narrative voice is one of our most powerful tools, but many writers seem unaware of how they are using it. We define our readership with the length of sentence, the words we use and the attitudes we consciously or unconsciously express in almost every sentence. We shouldn't be afraid of it. It isn’t a bad thing
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Spar With The Devil is a chase movie, a romance and excellent science fiction. There is rough sex and there is considerable violence.
I was a beta reader for this book and it was an immense pleasure to read. A contemporary setting soon shifts (by teleportation through one of those Portals mentioned in the series name) to a rugged desert landscape where our protagonists face increasing danger and have to rely on brute strength and courage. TS Bond understands this environment and it shows in the writing. There is a strong sense of reality about it, just as there is a touch of nightmare. A sexualised story where our main characters are drawn and to some extent repelled from each other. Where actions now will have far reaching consequences. This is a hard drama, not an easy romance. The story is enlightened by flashbacks that slowly reveal how the lives of our heroes are intertwined. A multi-layered science fiction romance with believable characters who tread a hard path. You should go read it. This is one of my favourite bits from Wizards. Princess Esmeralda has been driving Jake nuts and so when Grimaldi delivers Jake the hairbrush he uses to chatise his apprentices, Jake sees his chance for revenge.
I picked up the heavy hairbrush and felt its weight against the palm of my hand. While I'd never use such a thing on Jenny, there was one person in the palace for which I considered it more than appropriate. For a wizard, it seems the thought can become the deed and without consciously wishing it, I found myself standing in front of Esmeralda's bed. She woke the instant I arrived, though I could have sworn I made no sound at all. Her curtains were open and morning sunlight flooded into the room. "Why are you here, Wizard?" Esmeralda asked irritably as she pulled her sheets higher so they were around her chin. "How do you do that? How did you know it was me?" This weird ability of hers was beginning to wind me up. It was more than a little disconcerting. "I know exactly where you are when you're in Salice. I know exactly what you are doing, at all times." "That's disgusting." "You dare to lecture me about it! I have to live with it, so believe me when I say I know better than you what you mean. You woke some power in me when you gave me your lucky stones the day we met, and this curse you've bestowed will not go away." "You see everybody in Salice?" Esmeralda sighed in exasperation. "No Jake, the only one I ever see is you, all the time. Now tell me, what are you doing in my bedroom?" I should have felt sorry for her, but discovering she was spying on me every second of the day, regardless of whether she wanted to or not, made me angry again. And there was still the little matter of her using me and telling everyone I was Salice's wizard. I swung the hairbrush so it slapped into my palm. It bloody hurt, but I think I avoided wincing. "It is time for a reckoning, Princess Esmeralda," I said in my most menacing voice. I slapped the hairbrush into my palm again, this time very gently, though I hoped with a lot of meaning. "You tricked me into coming to this ball and you lied to your guests about my intent in coming here. Lies that could easily have got both me and Jenny killed." I expected, okay let's be honest, I hoped Esmeralda would cower in her bed and beg my forgiveness. Instead, she looked at me eyes brimming with a steely resolve. "You are correct, Wizard Morrissey. I have committed a grievous crime against your integrity and the punishment you have come to mete out is certainly deserved. You would be within your rights to kill me for what I've done to you, and what you offer instead is most merciful." She was playing me again, I was sure of it. I was the one who was supposed to be in charge. However, it felt as though she was leading me on. "I've been punished many times in my life and so I am familiar with the structure of the punishment you have in mind. Would you prefer me lying over your lap or should I bend over the bed?" This was all going much too fast for me and I was mentally searching for the pause button. Unfortunately, while that works fine when watching a DVD, this was real life. Esmeralda took my standing there feeling perplexed as an answer and slid out of bed. She positioned herself in front of me, turned and pulled her nightshirt over her head as she bent over the bed placing her head between her arms. "Do your worst, Wizard Morrissey, for I most surely deserve it. I will do my best not to shame myself or you further by crying out when I am put to my trials." I took one look at her proffered naked backside and hopped straight back to my room. "Where have you been, Jake? And what on Earth is the hairbrush for?" Jenny asked. "Nothing," I replied, throwing it across the room as though it had caught fire. "Wherever you've been, it seems to have got you excited," Jenny said as she looked meaningfully downwards. I knew exactly what she was referring to. I jumped onto the bed and pulled the sheets up. Sometimes a man could get no privacy at all. Jenny started to snuggle up to me and I remembered what Esmeralda had said. "We can't. Not here, not now." "Why not? You're more than up for it." She squeezed me meaningfully. I gulped. "She can see me, whatever I do in Salice," I whispered urgently. At the time, I couldn't understand the blank look I received in reply. Why is it a woman can only read your mind when you don't want her to? "Princess Esmeralda can see every single thing I say and do, every single thing, including this." "That bitch!" Jenny exploded. Then interest took over, "How do you know?" "She just told me." Sometimes I should just bite my tongue and think about it, before I say things out loud. "Where?" "Up in her bedroom." See what I mean? "Let me get this straight. You just hopped back from Princess Esmeralda's room having gone there wearing only your pajamas. How could you?" Do you see how women can distort the things you say and do and make something completely unfair and unreasonable out of them? I had no option at that point but to explain to Jenny exactly why I went to Esmeralda's room and what I planned to do there. It was a lot less bad than what she was thinking; at least I hoped it was. "I see." Jenny claimed no magical powers but I could have sworn I could see frost forming in the room. "And what was wrong with using THAT on me. Am I not the person who got you into this mess in the first place?" I have to admit I hadn't seen that response coming. "If you're going to do that sort of thing, shouldn't it be with your girlfriend?" I went with silence. Silence is my most eloquent ploy. I should use it more often. I should have used it earlier. Sensing a slight thaw in the local weather I attempted to put my arm around her. She pushed me away and rolled over so she couldn't see me. "We can't do any of that, now can we? Princess Esmeralda would be watching us." Going back over it in my head, the first and fatal mistake I made that morning was waking up in the first place. It amuses me when people see Wizards as a simple read without any depths. I designed the book to be entertaining, but it isn’t anything like as simple as it first appears.
I wanted to pull off one of those slights of hands that street magicians do with cards. Everything out in the open, and yet you still don’t see it. That’s why the book is written in first person, something I usually avoid. The reader sees the world though Jake’s eyes and his prejudices become the readers prejudices to some extent. So the reader never sees the elephant in the room even when it’s pointed out to him, because Jake doesn’t believe it exists. If you have read Wizards or plan to do so, here’s the big clue. Princess Esmeralda is the only character in the book who actually understands what wizards are and what they can do. She’s read all the Kingdom’s books on wizardry, books she has kept hidden from Jake. Esmeralda tells Jake repeatedly that his world view is completely wrong and she even explains why, if you read the Ball sequence carefully. This isn’t a simple book at all and most of the apparently simple bits have deep and dark explanations hidden behind them. In the sequel, to be published this Fall, Jake finds out a little bit more about his magic. Esmeralda will try to stop him finding out anything as she insists he should look beyond what her books say to what his heart tells him. By the end of the story he will think he understands magic completely, but as usual, he will be wrong. I also expand the universe for the reader and explain why some of the worlds are populated with humans and their farm animals. Jake will visit one of the closed worlds that wizards are forbidden to enter and discover more about the history of the multiverse. The reader will also find out a little bit more about the Dragons and the prophecy that links their survival or destruction to Jake. Wizards is a simple book in the same way that if you stopped reading The Lord of the Rings just before the Hobbits left the Shire, you’d think it was written for young children. Inspector Monde solves supernatural mysteries. He’s French and fought in WWII with the French Resistance. He has an affinity for the dead and the supernatural that comes from that time.
The stories are set in 1960/61 in Paris. I wanted the setting to be remote and yet almost familiar. A place where it takes time to find things out and the pace of life is a little slower than our own. The ghosts of Monde’s Paris are like nothing you’ve seen before. They can be indistinguishable from living people when they manifest and are driven by strong emotions, most often revenge. Yet the people of Paris pretend they don’t exist. Anomalies are ignored and incidents glossed over. It is simpler not to believe than to believe and this is an age of rationality. And incidents of hauntings are rare. The people in positions of power know all about them and the police know because they must deal with the consequences. Their answer to the problem comes in the form of Charles Monde. An inspector of police in his forties who is regarded as a bit strange himself. Give the weird cases to him and then look the other way when he solves them. Never ask questions about his methods. I’ve just finished writing my longest Inspector Monde story. It came in at 10,000 words. I don’t know if I’m ever going to write another. I never do. It will be in the collection Pfoxmoor will publish later this year. Monde is my Sherlock Holmes and I don’t want to let him down with a poor story. Each story must have a powerful and often shocking plot with an ending you didn’t really expect. The last three Monde’s have been born in my nightmares and then crafted into a coherent story. Death is his subject, the dead and the damned his clients or his enemies. The stories Love Springs & Prelude are available free from Amazon at the moment. The other stories cost a little, but not a lot. An enormous amount of care went into their preparation. I hope you give them a try. I've been a bit dismayed by some of the things I've read about how to write a book on writing sites. It seems to me that so many of them miss the point. It's all, don't do this, don't do that. In rule-writer's books processes are disconnected where in my view it all has to fit together.
By profession I analyse things. So here is my own list of the things I think matter. They overlap and compliment each other and shouldn't ever be regarded in isolation of the others. Story – what is going to happen during the book? Narrative – how the story will be told, from what POV's, what temporal lines, what flashbacks? Pace – what will be the high points and the low points in the story? Where will the reader draw a breath? What is the pattern of action? Identification – what keeps the reader reading? For example, likeable characters, puzzles, mysteries, drama, good lines, etc Satisfaction – how do you make the reader feel good about what they've read? Examples are jokes and humour in general, cheering on the hero, making the villain look stupid, excitement, tension, fear, shock and so on Voice – this is your writing style – reading age- length of sentences- jokey, gothic, serious, vanilla, etc. Note that rhythm is part of this- does your voice flow? When all these things are mixed together with the right quantities and qualities you have a good novel. It's more like cookery than anything else. Nothing is proscribed provided you can get the mix right. Fiction Writers go through a lifecycle that typically consists of:
Starting to write something, for fun or profit Becoming hooked on writing, our own writing gives us pleasure Writing a novel or short story Showing it round to people, and usually (these days) finding someone online to critique/enjoy it Writing more Trying to sell your work to an agent or publisher Getting your work published. When I wrote my first novel back in October 2006 it felt like I had unexpectedly run a marathon. I didn't believe I could write novels and my attempts in my early teens were disastrous. My friends loved the book, I thought it was perfect and a work of genius and sent it off to a couple of publishers expecting them to fall at my feet. They didn't and politely rejected it. I realised after a couple of weeks that it didn't read that well. I'm an analyst of sorts in real life and I realised that the words weren't put together very well. The story was brilliant (imho) and the narrative was fine but the rest was useless. But I so enjoyed the process of writing and the feedback from the twenty or so friends who read my work as I had written it on Myspace that I wanted to write more. I decided to leave editing for later as the muse was with me and for the next two years (2007/2008) wrote 1.5 million words of novels, short stories etc, never going near a publisher. I knew my work wasn't ready to publish. Then I found Authonomy. I selected a single novel (Shaddowdon) because I felt it was the most mainstream and saleable. Put it up here and began editing it and my other work. I edited something like eight novels between March 2009 and February 2010. I sent off a short story to a magazine which was rejected (because it was still crap and needed more editing). I did quite well on ABNA and eventually I pushed Shaddowdon to the editor's desk, because it was that or take it off the site. Harper Collins liked Shaddowdon in its edited form and that gave me confidence that my writing technique was maturing enough to consider going to agents but I still wasn't sure. I rewrote Shaddowdon to the editors suggestions and that reminded me I liked writing more than editing, so I knocked out a sequel. I had no urge to send off to agents though occasionally I stuck out the odd work (and which book I offered was pretty random) which was rejected. In my writing career you can count on two hands the total number of submissions I've made. There are certain books I've written I like a lot. Anyway, I began editing them, this was typically the first or second edit and sticking the chapters up on facebook in my notes. I also contributed short stories to a couple of collections that got published and got involved in flash fiction competitions. The feedback from that was highly encouraging. Wizards got published because a friend said to me said "This is great, you have to start sending it to agents." to which I replied. "The only way this is going to be published is if you sell it." The friend became my publisher. Wizards was written about the time I joined Authonomy. It needed very little editing, unlike the earlier work. This surprised me as I thought I had learnt a lot on here, but probably not. I asked Tim Roux of Night Publishing if he'd like to publish Hellogon and he kindly agreed. It needed a lot of editing, most of which took place before Tim saw it. I asked a friend with line editing skills to go through it and they did. I think it went through five major revisions, whereas the Wizards editing was no more than getting the spelling mistakes out and adjusting the commas. Somewhere in all that Endaxi Press asked me if they could publish Shaddowdon, having read it on here. They are a perfect fit for the English nature of the book and I happily agreed. It should come out this year. I've been in no rush to publish. What I would say is, that you have to get some distance from your book before you can see its weaknesses. For me this takes at least three months away from it. I'm not sure sure I always got the narrative right in my early books and I do modify them significantly, but I'm still in love with the stories I wrote and I want to see all of them in print ....when they're ready. Because the Night …...
There has been an extremely interesting development in the book world – the prestigious hotel group Radisson Edwardian have set up a book club whereby they give all their guests at their Radisson Edwardian Bloomsbury Street hotel a courtesy book of the month. Why Bloomsbury? Well, based on the Bloomsbury literary group of the early 20th century, as you might suspect. It a bit boggles the mind how the literary editor of the Radisson Edwardian Book Club, Chris Moss of trendy London guide Time Out, chooses a book to meet the tastes of all 14,000 guests who stay there each month, but it has to be a lovely idea for people like us who enjoy a good book and, it has to be said, a good hotel, starving authors that we are. There you are, you arrive at the hotel tired and in need of instant relaxation, the TV doesn't appeal, you've seen all the movies, what you need is a good book – hey presto, here it is and, if those guests are exceptionally lucky, it will be a Night Publishing book too. Oh come on, nobody gets that lucky. Funnily enough, though, that is why Night Publishing is so-called. It was originally set up to supply fun business books to business travellers in hotels – not the stuff that you hang on your wall as a trophy in the unlikely pretence that you have actually read it - all ten pages that matter out of 500 anyway - but really entertaining business-related books like Matt Beaumont's 'Company' or Maxx Barry's 'Syrup'. Well, that idea never took off – why would a hotel be interested in offering its guests books? - but it lingered on in the publisher's name and in its Relax at Night book showcase brand: http://relaxatnight.weebly.com. Full circle. Here is the Radisson Edwardian Book Club keen to indulge its guests in a good book like T.S. Elliot's poems (they really want you to have a good night's sleep, those guys) or 'A Room With A View' (geddit?), and here is Night eager once again to step up to the mark to supply them at least occasionally with just the sort of book that will make their guests happiest, a naturally talented and tasty treat from a much cherished free range author. Happy ever after. And what books are Night suggesting first to the Radisson Edwardian Book Club? Well, there is Charlotte Castle's 'Simon's Choice', the broad appeal family drama which asks “Would you accompany your dying child to heaven?” Then there is Danny Bent's 'You've Gone Too Far This Time, Sir!' chronicling the everyday adventures and misadventures of Danny Bent as he cycled 10,000 miles from London to Chembakolli in Southern India with a very sore bum and chased across mountain tops by a masked robber on horseback (headline - 'Vicious bum chases aching bum'). Third suggestion: 'The Bookie's Runner', Brendan Gisby's seminal portrait of a man of no importance - his father - who thought he had worked out how to get one big win on the horses before he died, and he was right, but …... And then the truly outrageously good, as-Jane-Austen-would-have-written-it-if-she-had-been-born-in-Atlanta-Georgia, 'The Wilful Daughter', where a successful middle-class blacksmith is absolutely determined to marry off his five eligible and beautiful daughters to the right suitors in the appropriate order, and his fifth, most attractive and wilful, daughter is equally set on having it, and the man she loves, her way. Finally a lyrical fable, a plea for friendship across races, however unlikely that might be, a book for all ages and all time, George Polley's 'The Old Man & The Monkey'. Hell, I would stay in the Radisson Edwardian Bloomsbury Street just to read those books. Tim Roux Wizards is the story of Jake Morrissey. He’s an unemployed eighteen year old with no great ambitions and no qualifications. He lives on the edge of the Snowdonia National Park in Wales with his Mum and Dad. The interesting thing about Jake is that he’s a wizard and he visits other worlds. Wizards is about absolute power not corrupting absolutely. It is written in first person POV because the reader has to live Jake’s thoughts to understand what he does and why. Jake is a nice guy and doesn’t even think about using his abilities for personal gain. However, when he gets a girlfriend Jenny who is educated, ambitious and has friends who are the same he has to buck his ideas up to keep her. And naturally she has ideas of her own that soon shake up Jake’s cosy world. I put a lot of humour into the story. The reader sees much that passes over Jake’s head, especially when he comes to the attention of Princess Esmeralda. She’s the heir to the throne of Salice, a small city state in another universe. Jake is like a nuclear deterrent, one that is a little difficult to control and mustn’t become aware of his status. Jake ends up fighting other wizards and an invading army because of Esmeralda. Back in Wales he has to protect his dragon from investigative reporting and Jenny from a lot of things. Life used to be so simple. Then Esmeralda makes Jake her fiancé, which doesn’t please Jenny, and things start to get really complicated. Wizards – a fun read available now in ebook |
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July 2020
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